The video clip of Ashton Kutcher’s speech at the teen choice award was going around Facebook yesterday. It has since been taken down. (EDIT: I just found another upload and embedded it above). I hope you were able to watch it. He gave advice to young people about how to make the best out of life. His speech hit close to home not only because I’m a parent but also because it reminded me of my own path. I actually just had this same conversation with Patrick over the weekend – about what kind of teenagers we were.
I’d always been a hard worker. In school and in all my jobs. My first summer job was when I was 15. I worked at the Toronto Parks & Rec swimming pool. Then every summer after that was a job that got better. A wise person told me to choose summer jobs in the field where I’d like to work in. But how do you know what you want when you’re 16?
There was only one job that I hated – the one when my brother and I applied at the CNE one summer. The CNE is an annual two week expo/fair that’s been around since the early 1900’s. He got a job making donuts and I got hired at the salami stand. There I was, a little teenager, slicing salami. I lasted only two days. Ashton Kutcher said, “I never had a job in my life that I was better than. I was always just lucky to have a job. Every job I had was a stepping stone to my next job and I never quit my job before I had my next job.” He’s right. I could have stuck it out. But I was terrified of the knife. So I quit on the second day and looked for a better job. I always felt lucky to be working. And I’m still terrified of slicing salami.
At a student council event. I was painfully shy, plus I was a new student (I moved to Toronto in Grade 8 but got accepted in Grade 9). Being smart got me places and gave me confidence.
In high school I was already thinking of my resume — so that I’d get in to the university of my choice. Since all universities in Canada were public, competition was really tough in the best schools like University of Toronto. I worked hard to get in to UofT. We were trained to make sure that everything we did took us a step closer to where we wanted to go. At 16, one’s resume was important. Those extra curricular activities mattered. I took on leadership roles at school – got elected to student council and became yearbook editor. Those had to count for something.
My grade 12 graduation.
At our school semi-formal. We were nominated for school spirit. Holy 80’s fashion!
I worked through university. My parents covered tuition. Student loans covered books and living expenses. I paid for my sorority dues. I had a glam job in retail in a menswear store on Bloor Street where I met Don Johnson and Christopher Plummer. I chose menswear to avoid spending all my income on clothes. It was a struggle. I still spent a lot on clothes. I learned about budgeting and financial responsibility at an early age. Fashion had remained an important part of my world. And it didn’t mean over-spending.
I continued doing extra curricular activities through university. This is the Pan-Hellenic organization – a mix of the various Greek communities (sororities).
Halfway through university I got an internship at Toronto City Hall. I took on every challenge and opportunity that came my way. Some of them included hours in the photocopy room. And yes, making coffee was sometimes part of it. But so were sitting in on meetings with the mayor and council, working with the Yorkville-Annex ward on their neighbourhood issues, and working on reports for the Waterfront redevelopment. My city hall internship went so well, the councillor hired me as staff in the summer. This stint landed me the best job after university – with a Canadian urban planning think tank that sent me on international assignments in my first year. That’s when my life changed and without any plans or roadmap, I got to where I am now.
With Toronto City Councillor John Adams. I was able to show my paintings and drawings at Toronto City Hall. It wasn’t part of my job. But I found an opportunity and went for it.
I have to admit, I’d been lucky. But hard work was always my mantra. I wanted to make things happen even though I was painfully shy. I found ways. I tried to learn a lot. Like in broadcasting – I stayed extra hours just to learn how to shoot, edit, write and produce. It wasn’t part of my job description as a news reader. I just wanted to learn more.
When I was still working at the TV network, someone from middle management told me that I didn’t have “it.” My name or face didn’t have any marquee value. It really made feel so bad. But Patrick said I was not in that job to sprint. He said I should stay and run the marathon. I still don’t have “it” – that definition of success on television. I’m glad I didn’t join that race though because that “it” doesn’t matter to me. I found something greater.
I’ve been writing this post for a whole day. I keep going back and editing. I don’t know why I felt compelled to write about the past. Getting old, perhaps. I hope my kids get to read this when they are teens. Their world is changing so fast, I hope their skills will be relevant. We are here to guide them and if that’s not enough I hope they hear a bit of what Ashton Kutcher said
– Opportunity looks a lot like hard work.
– The sexiest thing in the entire world is being smart. Be thoughtful and be generous.
– Everything around us that we call life was made up of people that are no smarter than you. And you can build your own things and you can build your own life that other people can live in.
“So build a life, don’t live one, find your opportunities and always be sexy.”
What were you like as a teenager? Do share some lessons you learned through your own journey…
