Facebook Safety: What every parent should know

 

 

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This photo appears in my book CHIC: Tips on Life, Style, and Work. Photo by Jeanne Young.

 

It all happens so fast. One year we’re all about twirling in tutu skirts and fairy wings, next thing I know, Sophia goes to camp in France, Lily is navigating through emotions with friends, and Stella is having big conversations with even bigger words. My girls have grown. And unlike what our parents went through when they were slowly releasing us into the real world, we have to deal with both the real world and the online world.

My kids are not gadget-savvy. If my husband had his way, they would be. But I chose to keep them off social media and to limit their gadget time. As a result — and I can take credit for this — they are creative and outdoorsy kids. Ok, the outdoorsy part is my husband’s. He takes them biking, hiking and such.

Some of Sophia’s classmates were on Facebook as early as first grade. Soph never felt left out. She was busy playing in the park with her BFF neighbour. When her classmates came up with a FB group for school-related announcements in Grade 7, that was the only time we gave her a Facebook account. She was 13. The “legal” age for minors to be on the social media site. Til this day, Soph can’t really manage to navigate through FB. All she knows is that there are some cute puppy and kitten videos on it.

My kids have a little community on Facebook called The Strawbunny. This is to share their art and creative expressions. It is managed by Patrick and me. Occasionally we do post photos of our children. They were born into this already – each birth announcement was featured in a magazine or in my show. However, we keep their presence online under control. And they are ok with it.

I feel strongly about the safety of minors on the internet that I wrote a section on it in my book. The threats are real, folks. UNICEF recently came out with a baseline study on violence against children in the Philippines. While there are predators online who are waiting to pounce on children, there are also friends and acquaintances who sometimes overstep boundaries and create a very stressful environment for your kid –  yes, bullying. So parents, please be aware of your children’s digital tracks. You have to know about all their activities online.

 

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In mid-November, I was invited by Facebook to join a workshop on safety. This was attended by a few journalists. They released some valuable information that can help all of us manoeuvre through Facebook with safety. The biggest concerns in our forum then was the proliferation of fake sites and hate-mongering. Facebook has now improved its mechanism to identify these unwanted activities. In “Report Post” there is now a slug for “it’s a false news story.”

 

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After the workshop, I had a brief discussion with the officers from Facebook head quarters. I asked them more about the need for keeping kids safe on Facebook and all social media sites. There are way too many minors below 13 on social media. As it turns out, every day, parents in the Philippines come to Facebook to ask for advice in Groups, share pictures of their kids or just stay connected with family in different places. And for many parents, they also have questions about how Facebook works once their kids join.

 

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Facebook tools for journalists.

 

Facebook just launched the Parent’s Portal, a new section of the Facebook Safety Center. It will include guides for parents about how Facebook works, tips for talking with kids about staying safe online and resources from experts around the world.

Here are six tips to help parents kick off a digital discussion so that both parents and their children get the most out of their Facebook experience:

Let your child know that the same rules apply online as apply offline.
If it’s not something you want others to do to you, don’t do it to others. Just as you might tell your child to look both ways before crossing the street or to wear a helmet while riding their bike, teach them to think before they share online.

Try to be a good role model.
The adage that children will “do as you do, not as you say” is as true online as it is offline. If you set time restrictions on when your child can use social media or be online (ex: no texting after 10:00 PM), follow the same rules.

Engage early.
Data suggest that parents should engage online with their children as soon as they are on social media. Consider friending them when they join Facebook. Just as you lay the foundation early for dialogue and conversation offline with your children, you should lay that foundation early online. It gets harder to do so if you wait. Even before they are on social media, talk to them about technology as a whole. It can help lay the groundwork for future conversations.

Identify and seize key moments.
For example, when your child gets their first mobile phone, it’s a good time to set ground rules. When your child turns 13 years old and is old enough to join Facebook and other social media, it’s a good time to talk about safe sharing. When your child gets a driver’s license, it’s a good time to discuss the importance of not texting and driving.

Trust yourself.
Typically, you can adopt the same parenting style for your child’s online activities as you do for their offline activities. If you find that your child responds best to a negotiated agreement, create a contract that you can both sign. Or, maybe your child just needs to know the basic rules.

Ask your children to teach you.
Not on Facebook? Or, maybe you’re interested in trying a streaming music service? If your children are already familiar with these apps and sites, they can be an excellent resource. The conversation can also serve as an opportunity to talk about issues of safety, privacy and security. For example, you can ask them questions about privacy settings as you set up your own Facebook account. And, as most parents know all too well, your child will likely appreciate the opportunity to teach you.

 

My guiding principle is this — I don’t allow my girls to go out unsupervised in public areas. The internet is one big public area. So while they are minors, they are completely under my care. They are not to run around the internet without my knowledge and presence. All phones are turned over to our family charging-dock every night at an agreed time. Their school and places of activities cannot be published. Photos are not geo-tagged. Etc…

There are many other little rules we have. Some of them are in my book. I’d be curious to know what your policies are in your family.

 

 

Mabuhay

 

 

COVER-December-2016

 

Christmas marks a time when many OFWs and balikbayans come home to be with family. And more often than not, they choose to fly with Philippine Airlines. I do, especially when I travel to and from Canada. Nothing beats Filipino hospitality on long haul flights, especially if you have small kids.

Before I go on, let me say that this is not a paid ad at all. I am not paid nor have I ever gotten a free flight from PAL except for the mileage I’ve earned through my credit cards. I am however, a legit PAL baby. Or I should say, a child of aviation — complete with stories of playing in the tarmac. Those of you who have already read my book CHIC: Tips on Life, Style, and Work will know that my mom was a flight attendant for PAL in the mid 60’s. My dad was a military pilot. I grew up in an air base.

This month, the iconic Mabuhay, PAL’s inflight magazine has featured me in a two-page spread. I love, love, love the way they do this section. Instead of a PR photo or glam shot, a hand-painted watercolour illustration fills up an entire page. I like the painting so much, I’ve put it on my Christmas wish list. If my husband pays attention, he would have gotten the original for me. I have yet to find out on Christmas morning.

 

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Painting by Cheryl Owen.

 

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The painting is based on this photograph, taken by Dix Perez back in late 2012. That’s my front door. Xeng Zulueta did my makeup. Felicity Son did my hair. I wore my own beaded dress and necklace I made for myself in 2006. This image made it to the Vogue Italia feature.

 

Vogue, People Are Talking About
Certainly one of my “blogging career” highlights. Vogue Italia featured my jewellery, furniture, and other products. So much has happened since then. And the Mabuhay article, as well as my own book and writing process, has given me a chance to look back, appreciate, and be grateful.

 

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The chair that Vogue called “doll house furniture”

 

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I no longer sell these chairs. We had a problem with copycats (ugh). My only authorized dealer was Dimensione. Last month, I took orders from my Instagram and FB followers, and was so surprised to still see so much interest in these chairs. Hmmm, ideas …

 

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We had the chairs personally delivered by either me, my husband, or my driver. The rest were shipped via LBC (which is now my official courier). Hello, ecommerce made easy.

 

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I continue to make my own fine jewellery for myself. Sometimes I can take in orders and commissions. I am aware that a few sellers have copied my concept. I don’t know how to feel about them. And I am sure I am not the only one who has to deal with this.

 

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I have been wearing my faith charm necklaces since 2005. I made them for me, as these were significant and meaningful. The opportunity to design and sell my work came after.

 

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Then I took the work seriously and invested in my brand identity. Each of the pieces comes with handwritten notes and certificates. And just as my chairs have them, the jewellery also have engraved brass plates. Anyone interested in my jewellery can email me directly at info@daphne.ph

 

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Back to the Mabuhay article. Thank you, Carlomar Daoana for your insights. It’s always hard to talk about oneself, and even harder to read what’s written about oneself. A big thank you also goes out to Mabuhay’s new EIC, James Ong, for taking interest in featuring my book and my work.

There is just one little thing that I have to clarify. I did spend my childhood in Metro Manila. It is true that my dad was the helicopter pilot of President Marcos – a fact about my dad’s work and character that I am very proud of.  However my family and I did not abruptly emigrate to Canada in 1986. There was no such “escape” after the EDSA Revolution. My family moved to Canada in 1983, not to be immigrants but to join my father who had been on an official assignment attached to the Philippine Consulate since 1982. In fact, during the actual EDSA Revolution, I was on a trip to Spain and Morocco organized by my high school. I celebrated my 16th birthday in southern Spain.

 

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There was a bit of drama… ok, a lot. But definitely no abrupt leaving and no actual emigration. As for the real details, you’d have to read about it in my book.

 

 

Abuela’s

 

 

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Had a lovely lunch at Abuela’s Restaurant in Makati. My friend Vicky Tensuan and her cousins finally opened a home for that famous prime rib I tried a couple of years ago.

Abuela’s serves heirloom dishes originally created by the grandmother of Marianne Lacson Campillo and interpreted by her husband Chef Marco Legasto. The grandmother, Eduarda Cuyugan Lacson, had an inherent love for cooking that stemmed from her Capangpangan roots. Marriage took her to Bacolod where she settled and lived an idyllic life while holding fort in the kitchen.

 

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I particularly enjoyed this pochero, served in a  modern minimalist way. The broth comes separately in a small carafe.

 

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My fave. Pochero, topped up with roasted tomato.

 

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The callos was excellent. I don’t normally eat callos. But this was so, so good.

 

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Our lunch group – Rica de Jesus of Heart 2 Heart, Preview magazine’s Jacqui Salonga, Abuela’s Vicky Tensuan, and Mega’s EIC Peewee Isidro

 

Chefs Marco Legasto and Yoshimi Igarashi
Chefs Marco Legasto and Yoshimi Igarashi. Chef Marco graduated from IHMES Isle of Man in the UK, while Chef Yoshimi from Hokkaido, Sapporo Japan was trained in Hotel Nikko. He spent the past 17 years heading Benkay outlets in Mexico, Paris, Myanmar and the Philippines.

 

Bone Marrow Mushroom Rice
Bone Marrow Mushroom Rice

 

Mila's Roast Chicken
Mila’s Roast Chicken

 

Jojo's Filipino Curry Prawns with Crab Fat Sauce
Jojo’s Filipino Curry Prawns with Crab Fat Sauce

 

Lengua Estofado by Lilibeth
Lengua Estofado by Lilibeth

 

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The menu was designed and hand drawn by Vicky Tensuan who also owns Whisk Designs.

 

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The Abuela’s Roast Beef platter that I blogged about a couple of years ago is back! It comes with sauce of your choice and sides on a ceramic platter ready to be taken home and served.

 

For more information on Abuela’s, check out their Facebook Page.

Abuela’s is at 104 Aguirre St, Somerset Millennium Makati Building, Legaspi Village, Makati City.  Tel 02 805 2713 or 0917 853 8881

 

Washable Nail Polish

 

 

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A couple of months ago (yes, months), we received the most wonderful present from a very thoughtful reader, Cheryl Sy. I don’t know her personally but she sent me a private message, either in Facebook or Instagram, I can’t remember now. She asked if she could send my daughters some non-toxic nail polish. I politely declined because my girls are, like me, not into nail polish. So we left it at that.

Cheryl didn’t stop there. She ordered a gift from her crafting friend in Oregon, and promised to send these personalized goodies to my kids. Weeks and probably months later, she contacted me saying the package went to Tel Aviv by mistake and that she was working on getting them to Manila. Cute.

Anyway the package finally got to us. It really brightened up my day. It was the most well-thought of presents. Cheryl also wrote lovely notes for me and my daughters. I just can’t tell you enough how we appreciate this gesture, Cheryl. Thank you!! Stella drew a thank you note. And the girls also recorded a thank you video. I have yet to send them to Cheryl. In the meantime, here is her amazing product…

 

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The three bottles carry the names of my daughters — Rose, Daisy, Lily. (Margarita means daisy.)

 

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Personalized charm bracelets for each girl, with miniature Snails bottles and their flowers! Look at them… so adorable, the lily, the rose, and the daisy.

 

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Each of the bracelets has a little “Strawbunny” charm. Not many know that my daughters have a Facebook page called The Strawbunny where they show some of their art work and creations. The Strawbunny character was designed by Lily.

 

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Snails is a non-toxic and completely water-soluble nail polish meant for children… but also good for adults. According to Cheryl she found this brand while searching for non-toxic nail polish for her own daughter. She would use toxic-free polish but would end up using nail polish remover with harsh chemicals. It also took forever to remove and sometimes damaged her daughter’s nails. With Snails (safe nails), the polish comes off with just water and soap! Perfect for little digits playing fancy dress-up. If you want the colour to last longer, you can use the Snails Top Coat and your polish can stay on for up to two days. It then can be removed by water!

 

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Just above the barcode, the Lily. You will also see that the formula is free of harmful chemicals like Dibutyl Phthalate, Toluene, Formaldehyde, Formaldehyde Resin, Camphor, and Parabens.

 

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Stella agreed to have her cute little nails coloured with polish. I promised her that it would come off easily.

 

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The bunny with orange Snails.

 

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I tried it myself. Two coats of pink. I didn’t seal it with the top coat because I wanted to check if it was really water soluble.

 

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And so I tried washing it off.

 

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Just a little soap and some gentle rubbing, the colour came off.

 

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And there you have it… washable nail polish!

 

You can find Snails at Bright Brands in Facebook and Instagram.

 

 

100 Years of American Express in the Philippines

 

 

Concert program 1

 

Last October 8, I had the honour of attending a special gathering in celebration of the 100th year of American Express in the Philippines, at the Forbes Ballroom of Conrad Manila. It was a very elegant dinner that culminated with a musical concert treat complete with the country’s top performers and a stunning big band. The event was attended by a select group of American Express Cardmembers.

 

Bathroom selfie at the Conrad Hotel before getting to the American Express 100 Years celebration, with BDO. Dress from @k_and_company, hair and makeup by me, complete with lashes again.
I flew solo and I felt silly posing in public by myself. So what’s a girl to do? A selfie in the Conrad’s grand bathroom, with game face on.

 

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I loved the understated elegance of the table setting.

 

Food
US beef tenderloin with roasted carrots and mizuna mash

 

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The AMP Band by Mel Villena

 

Toast with Executives
(L-R) Sharon P Chew, Vice President of Regional Product, Marketing & Business Development, Asia, American Express; Sanjiv Malhotra, Vice President and General Manager, Partner Card Services, Asia, American Express; Y C Koh, President, Asia, American Express International, Inc., Teresita Sy-Coson, Chairperson of BDO Unibank, Inc., Rolando C. Tanchanco, Executive Vice President of BDO Unibank, Inc. and Consumer Lending Group Head, Ma. Nannette R. Regala, Senior Vice President of BDO Unibank, Inc. and Consumer Lending Group Marketing Head

 

Y C Koh, President, Asia, American Express International, Inc., in his address said, “I’m proud to join our long-term partner BDO and our Cardmembers to celebrate American Express’ 100th year in the Philippines tonight. I want to give special thanks to our partners and our customers for their trust and support over the past century. American Express’ aim is to be the world’s most respected service brand, and we look forward to working with BDO to deliver a world-class experience to our customers as we enter our second century.”

 

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Y C Koh with Rolando C. Tanchanco

 

100 Years of American Express Heritage Panels
The centennial celebration gave us a chance to look back at milestones from the opening of the first American Express Asia office in 1916, to the strategic partnership forged with BDO in 2007.

 

AMEX-Platinum-Card (IDC)

 

American Express was the first in the world to introduce a Platinum Card. It made its debut in 1984 as an elite product. The Platinum Card® was offered to existing high spending customers by invitation only. It was labeled the “ultimate plastic” by one newspaper because of its exclusive and valuable benefits. In 1999, the Platinum Card was introduced in the Philippines. Today it continues to evolve with the changing premium marketplace, making it one of the most desired Cards in the market.

And during the 100 Years of American Express Gala, another highlight was the unveiling of the revitalized Platinum Card.

Designed for the affluent, seasoned travelers and their families, the iconic Platinum Card offers better travel experiences and a world of rewards and benefits for its Cardmembers. Platinum Cardmembers can now enjoy enhanced benefits such as:

  • Complimentary business class companion tickets when they fly with Philippine Airlines.
  • Privileged access to more than 900 lounges across more than 120 countries at Priority Pass, Delta Sky Club and American Express Lounges.
  • Automatic enrollment into elite membership status of prestigious hotel loyalty programs such as Shangri-La Golden Circle, Hilton HHonors and Club Carlson. Exclusive hotel privileges with the uniquely created Fine Hotels & Resorts program. Cardmembers will also enjoy exclusive complimentary benefits such as room upgrade upon arrival, daily breakfast for two, in-room Wi-Fi, early check-in, late check-out and a special amenity at each property.
  • A US$200 travel voucher welcome gift for use on your next getaway to purchase air ticket, book a stay, or upgrade your tour package.
  • Complimentary Meet and Assist Services for departure and arrival at NAIA Terminals 1 & 3 and at Davao and Clark International Airports.

BDO, the exclusive card-issuing and merchant-acquiring bank partner of American Express in the country, will continue to launch special promotional offers for Cardmembers throughout the celebration of American Express’ centennial year.

 

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My personal highlight was my encounter with the Chairperson of BDO Unibank, Inc. Teresita Sy-Coson

 

 

After the formalities and dinner, we were entertained by an impressive musical concert by Cris Villonco, Bituin Escalante, Charito, Mon David, the AMP band by Mel Villena, Yuki Arimasa, Kengo Nakamura and Juasa Kanoh with a medley of musical performances spanning different decades.

The theme was “Pop Meets Big Band Jazz”, the performers went through musical periods like the 1920’s to 1930’s where music expressed a new freedom and a very sexy rebellion by the likes of Duke Ellington and Ella Fitzgerald. In the 1940’s to 1950’s big band jazz became the pulsing sound of the mainstream with the talents becoming superstars of the era like Cole Porter, Glenn Miller, Dizzy Gillespie, Nat King Cole, Frank Sinatra and Miles Davis. The 1960’s to 1970’s was all about the youth quake and freedom in fashion and lifestyles. Jazz may have taken a back seat but still shone through Motown, Aretha Franklin, Elvis Presley, Sarah Vaughan. The 1980s to 1990s pop songs reflected cool, calm, collected jazz songs from Lou Rawls, Wynton Marsalis and Michael Jackson. The special show ended with the present era of songs by Diana Krall, Norah Jones, Cassandra Wilson, and Pharell Williams.

 

Concert Artists 2
Charito, Mon David, Cris Villonco, and Bituin Escalante.

 

Mon David
Mon David

 

Cris Villonco
Cris Villonco

 

Yuki Arimasa
Yuki Arimasa

 

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